Adventuring in the Wild Blue Yonder: Log 26: Phuket Beach, and Chiang Mai adventures

On February 7^th we flew to Thailand and landed in Phuket in the early afternoon. Prepared for another airport experience like Bali, we took a firm grip on our bags and made sure we had exchanged money in Bali and not in the Phuket airport, but it was an entirely better experience and once again the customs officials just waved us through. We decided we need to look a bit more dangerous or stupid one or the other. Let’s face it, we’re just two very safe looking people.

Not really knowing where to go this time either, we checked out our Lonely Planet guide and instead of heading to the party beaches we were desperately trying to avoid, we went to a little beach not talked about and only labeled as a small village, we decided if it was horrid we’d find a new place. We flagged down a taxi, who was apparently from the Nai Yang area and was very kind and helpful, not creepy like a lot of the other taxi drivers we had encountered trying to sell their services. The nice little man didn’t even go above 40km the whole time, granted we only went about 3km up the road.

He dropped us at some bamboo bungalows right on the beach and after a short tour we booked in then ventured out to view our new surroundings. Both of us were thrilled at our luck in finding this little chunk of paradise! A white sand beach, in a circular bay covered in beach chairs and massage huts, quiet, and a decidedly older crown, but we weren’t going to complain. The little village that sprung up because of the tourists has a little market, 10 or so different beachside restaurants to choose from, a few souvenirs shops for sandals and sarongs and other odd and ends, and even an internet café/jewelry shop. We spent the next few days reading and sunning on the beach and swimming several times a day in the warm water with not a rock or piece of coral in site! I managed to underestimate the sun and the doxycycline affects and turned into a bit of a lobster after our second day so the morning we were leaving for Chiang Mai instead of swimming I enjoyed the beach in the shade with my tube of aloe vera. Not a terrible burn but enough to put me back in check.

We arrived in Chiang Mai late in the evening to a very sullen taxi driver, that I think hated his position in life more than a sweat-shop worker. We walked to his cab at the slowest possible speed, he didn’t utter a word to us the entire trip, and dropped us at our guest house without a word except an unintelligible grumbling and a facial expression that was noting how heavy my pack was… its less than 15kg, not so heavy. We were shown our ‘hotel room’ and felt like royalty! From our bamboo hut with 1in mattress and a walk-to toilet/shower that you have to supply with your own toilet paper, to the 2 proper beds with sheets and blankets, a toilet WITH paper and a hot shower with provided soap and shampoo, and a TV for a mere $3US more than the hut. I think we just laughed and then laid down with a sigh of comfort. It’s the little things that count when you are traveling budget style.

That night we found a 7-11 near our hotel and grabbed some snacks instead of getting a full out dinner. Just the shopping for a bag of chips was entertaining as we had to guess the flavor of the contents by the pictures on the bag because all the letters were in Thai! Thankfully Frito-Lay was nice enough to put Thai and English on their varieties so we didn’t end up with fish and seaweed flavored crisps. Armed with our snacks and some fresh milk, which we hadn’t seen in several weeks, we went back to our place and watched TV in Thai and tried to narrate what was going on based on facial expressions and dramatic pauses. A soap looking show was on that we named ‘Hair and Lipstick’ because one of the guys kept doing a hair flip and the other was obviously wearing lipstick for television purposes. The show had a crazy psycho chick murdering an old lady while pushing her next victim in a shopping cart because she had been pharmaceutically paralysed by said crazy chick. Crisps, milk, and bad Thai soaps… a grand evening!!!

Our first day we went exploring to two different Wats or Buddhist temples within the walled city limits, we’re still not sure about the story of why it’s a walled city, found some lunch and a bookstore for a new round of travel reading, then hit up the Cultural Museum with the 3 kings statue out front. I want to say I learned a lot about Thailand and Chiang Mai culture and history from the museum but most of it was pretty repetitive. Three different regional King’s decided that the Lanna territory should become the cultural hub several hundred years ago and they started making this the Northern Bangkok. I think my favorite thing was the strange flavor of Fanta that we sampled in the café. Watermelon, banana, a fruit I had never heard of and can’t remember how to spell, with carbonation. It was also fluorescent green in color.

That evening we passed an Irish pub just down the street from our hotel that as having a quiz night so decided to stop in there to join in the fun. We asked a couple that was already seated where to sign up, and they just invited us to join their team as they were all alone. They were from Montreal, Canada, and just traveling for 3 weeks on holiday away from the winter. We were called The A Team, but other teams present included, Crapulous, Meow Meow Meow Meow, Type A Teachers, and Night of 1000 Goats. We didn’t come anywhere close to winning but we had a few beers with good company and had to reach back in our minds for answers to strange questions.

The next morning we planned to go check out a hilltribe museum that was outside of town so we hired a tuk-tuk, even though he was adamant it was not open yet. As the stupid westerners, we replied with, “but the guide book says it exists,” so off we went anyway, first he switched us to one of his buddies because he said he had another job, really I think he just didn’t want to go that far and wanted to stick around for a better fare.

Our second driver was much nicer and enthusiastic and off we went to way outside of town to find the museum was indeed closed for renovations. DOH! Always listen to a local… we saw him the next day and I almost went up and told him he was right. So instead our driver, and me, talked Matt into going to Tiger Kingdom where you can interact with tigers for a price of course.

On arrival there were 4 options to play with different ages of tigers. The smallest being 3mo, on up to the largest being 18mo old. We opted for 10min with the smallest, and 10min with the largest tigers, all for $35US. They are all trained and have interaction from humans from the time they are born so they are all well used to us being there and petting them. Since tigers hunt at night and are more active at night being cooler, during the day they sleep, and the babies just sleep allll day. When the tigers grow up they are sold to zoos and not released back to the wild as they don’t know how to hunt and they are too familiar with humans. Before you go in the enclosure you have to take your shoes off and read a sign pointing out that you must not touch their feet or their faces so that they don’t try to play with the humans. A trainer goes in with you and if the cub starts playing with your hands, or chewing, it gets a tap from a stick or the trainer distracts it with a toy. I was the first in and after a few baby tiger pats on the floor with the 3mo old tiger, the trainer picked her up and put her in my lap for a wee cuddle. Those babies are deceivingly heavy and it felt more like my parents dog was sitting in my lap, who’s about 30lbs. Sleeping away the babies were pretty oblivious to the whole thing except the one a few months older, that was intent on playing and eventually walked around the enclosure wanting to jump on the table. Matt had his turn as well and then we moved onto the big tigers.

This was a bit more controlled and you had to really listen to the trainers and they were quite strict about where you had to stand and how to move, understandably. Unlike the babies, the rules are hard and fast here and you approach them from the behind only, and only pat their backs and bellies. The trainer was really nice and had Matt and I both get in the picture while he snapped a shot of the tiger yawning. He also had me lay down behind the tiger and wrap the tail around my neck so I was affectively using a tiger’s bum for a pillow. Pretty awesome but at the same time I was hoping the tiger didn’t want to play with his tail at that moment.

Our tuk-tuk took us back to our hotel and we got ready for our cooking class after having a beer at the café just next to where we live. We waited for our ride but then realized we were literally just around the corner from our hotel, but two ladies showed up with motorbikes to bring us there anyway. There were two groups cooking and after sampling a plate of exotic fruits and a few sweets, we dug into making an appetizer of springs rolls, a chicken stir-fry (where I managed to spray hot oil at Matt), a spicy soup, and we ended by making a fresh curry paste with the mortar and pestle then made that into Panang curry. YUM!!! The soup was a bit too spicy for me even though I only put in ¾ of one chili and others were putting in about 5, but it was still tasty.

Maybe I’ve just become used to western societies over politeness, but I must say I was ready for the comment that came out of one of our cooking instructors. While we were making the spring rolls, and laughing at a Brit guy that was totally destroying and making a mess out of his, one of the instructors turned to me and says, “Oh, you make bring spring roll, just like you boy!” I instantly turned 5 shades of red, and the rest of the class looking at me with shocked expressions and gasps. I was mortified, but then proceeded to stuff myself with Thai food.

After the cooking class ended we headed back to the Irish pub as there was live music by a duo so I couldn’t resist a bit of Irish as I was DYING for music by this point having given away the fiddle for ease of traveling. They sang very well and Mel played a tune on the low whistle and they sang a lot of Christy Moore tunes as well as the obligatory Whiskey in the Jar, and The Fields of Athenry. The place wasn’t very full and by the time we left there were only about 4 people left in the pub. I hate leaving musicians to play for an empty venue but we were falling asleep in our beer glasses after our busy day.

The following day we had booked a trekking and mountain bike trip. Chiang Mai is the mecca of trekking tours through the northern part of Thailand with most of them advertizing visits to hilltribes, elephant rides through rivers, white water rafting, abseiling, zip-lining through the jungle and so on. We weren’t too keen on the elephant rides, as professors of ours had told us it stresses the elephants out which makes them sick. So we just decided to try to avoid the whole elephant issue and go for the hiking and biking one we found. Along with 6 Aussies, and a Brit, we all trekked through the jungle up the mountain for 3 hours with our young guides stopping and showing us plants, and bugs, and waterfalls with fish, as well as giving us all breaks to catch our breath from the constant incline. At the top we were served lunch in a Hmong village restaurant, then given the run-down on how the downhill biking went. Padded with knee and elbow guards, gloves, and helmets, we had to first prove to our guides that we could do a standing position off the cement road edge as there were lots of rocks and ditches on the trail. I was thinking this was all overkill till we actually got on the trail. I kept up with the front bunch that was going crazy fast around curves but I was definitely more cautious with the trail being pretty much a break in the trees with half meter ditches and rocks, oh and the occasional foot wide cement track put down where there was too much washout from the rainy season. One of the Australian boys had never actually ridden a bike in his life and after him and the other 2 girls didn’t catch up to us when we stopped 50 meters up the track we knew they weren’t going to go well.

We’d stop occasionally to catch our breath and give our arms and legs a break from the constant jarring and our guide would point out fields of fruit trees or crops, play with puppies in the small homes that were scattered around the mountain, and give us samples of fruits that grew wild. One was what looked like a wild green cherry that tasted very sour, but when you rinse your mouth with water, it makes the water taste sugared! Apparently villagers eat it on hot days because it is supposed to cool your body down somehow. Along the trail were single trails that our guide would try to get us to go down for ‘more challenge’ I usually passed and watched the other boys give it a go instead. It would be just after one of them headed down the trail when our guide would turn to the rest of us with a giddy smile and say something to the effect of there being a large log or a ditch that you had to get your bike over. Then through the forest would come a barrage of swear words and then the sounds of crashing and we’d all snigger and wait for the victim to come out the end of the single trail with new road rash and a few leaves sticking out of their padding or helmet. Even the ‘easy one’ that we all participated in, ended up claiming two falls and the 3 of us behind the fallers getting off our bikes and walking it through the rest of the course. But it was still hella fun!

Finally down the mountain we rode along the road for a bit then headed into a little lake side area that locals would come to relax and chill out on hot days along the river in bamboo huts. 3 of the Aussies, the Brit and Matt and I were the group that made it down, and I was the only girl so we decided to celebrate with a large 22oz beer that cost us $2US. So I sat around chatting with the guys telling stories about mountain biking spills and other adventure sports. The company truck had been sent up the trail for the rest of the group as they weren’t doing too well and were just walking their bikes, so back at the bungalows they decided to take our half of the group back to the start and get us home. In the drive back we were being followed by a truck with a ‘ladyboy’ in it which the guide was pointing out.

Ladyboys are men that have decided they want to be women, and are either waiting to have a sex-change operation or are just happy looking exactly like a woman but still keeping their anatomical structures. Or Pre-ops and Post-ops so I’m told. Some of them are quite convincing as the stories go, but there doesn’t seem to be a stigma surrounding them. They are an accepted part of society. That said, I had my second insult when our group started joking around that perhaps I was a Ladyboy as I was the only ‘girl’ that made it down the mountain. I maintained that my parts were all real and that Matt could account for the mood swings, evidence that I am ALL girl and always was. I just happen to be a bit of a redneck as well.

So in the space of a week I’ve become a large bodied Ladyboy to the Thai people… lord help me!

That night we decided to check out the Saturday Walking Street market that we were told even the locals attend. We walked down to the city’s edge to find a very lit up area covered in food carts, jewelry booths, hill-tribe crafts, blind buskers doing karaoke, antiques, and every type of clothing and accessory you can think of. We sampled the much recommended mango sticky-rice from the first booth we came across and were instantly hooked, and to our luck it is in our recipe book from our cooking class so look out everyone, you will be eating mango sticky-rice when we get home! We walked along eating various items from the carts and I found a smoothie booth that was divine. Full of yummy food and people watching culture we headed back to our hotel to prepare for our journey north.